Um, where am I?

Still no direction

… Still feel as if I am just wandering.

They say that divorce is hard because you have lost your identity. You have learned to view yourself no longer as Me, but now as Mrs. Him. I say :P

Yes, I think of myself as a Mrs.’s. But I don’t think loosing that is why I feel lost… Could be that most of my past is in boxes in my uncle’s dinning room. Could be that I am driving a borrowed car. Could be that just thinking gives me a headache…

But it is more likely that I feel soooo lost, because I am sort of in limbo. I am separated, but not divorced. I can’t go forward, start anew (I won’t even bore you with the whole mixed feelings about whether I want to move forward or not). I can’t, and sure as hell, don’t want to go back. So I am stuck… stuck waiting on my lawyer, stuck waiting on the courts, stuck waiting on my estranged spouse, stuck waiting on myself.

I make grand and lofty plans… and plans I certainly intend to follow through with:
Going back to school
Take up tennis
Brush-up on my sign language
Learn to speak Spanish

But even these things I haven’t actually started to do… heck, I haven’t even made an honest effort at organizing my boxes-o-stuff much less unpack.

Goal #1… not allowing myself off path here… I am going to have a garage sale.
More on what I am sure to be a humorous adventure later.

posted by H F J @ 10:50 AM